A Birthday Letter To My Son Reflecting On Our Love Story As You Turn 1

The day was cold and windy when I found out you were growing within.  But I remember having a warm feeling from head to toe because you filled me with happiness, feelings beyond belief and immense tears of joy. Imagine that? And we had only known each other for a matter of minutes at that time. Even then I knew I loved you unconditionally. You have no idea how excited both daddy and I were about what a baby meant for us and couldn’t wait to share our news.  As I look back now by the way everyone embraced the news and anticipated your arrival it should have been a no brainer that you would be a BIG deal. You have surely proven that and you are only just turning 1! 

As we planned for you and waited for you, there were so many things that mommy and daddy went through which you are much too young to understand right now.  Some things made us laugh, some things made us nervous and other things made us cry. But what was most important of all was that we loved you and just couldn’t wait to meet you.  It was really the hardest thing I have ever had to wait for and mommy was getting ever so impatient. All I could do was have faith and pray for more patience that you would arrive safely.  On the day you finally did make your entrance it was exactly one year from today.  I remember it like no other and I just couldn’t stop crying when I heard your first cry because you were here, you were beautiful and you were perfect.     

So as I think about all we have been through since September 8, 2011 there is so much that comes to mind. It is filled with love, anxiousness, laughter, worry, some frustration, lots of tears, great joy, pride and empowerment.  But more than anything it is filled with happiness because we’ve shared all your baby “first” moments this year, our endless hours of cuddling and the indescribable joy of adding you to our family that makes it complete and whole. 

This is what is important and this is our how lives were meant to be lived.  You coming into this world to show us and others how to love beyond measure and how to live life to the fullest without taking one single day for granted.  Yes baby, you have showed us that and are still doing it!  You were the baby I was meant to have and I am the mother you were meant to have because God makes no mistakes.  He knew what he was doing and he knew that we would need each other along this journey full of the unpredictable.  From the extended NICU stay, the days of NG feeding tubes, the multiple ER visits, constant oxygen level checks, to unplanned ambulance transports from one hospital to another, to the looming but critically needed open heart surgery to those hours upon hours of different therapies we have done it together. Me, you, daddy and all our countless family and friends both near and far.  I need you to know that I love you.  You strengthen me.  You make me proud and I cannot even imagine how I thought I was fulfilled before you came into it.

It is surely amazing how in just one year you have turned our lives around all for the better and made me the proudest mama around and your biggest cheerleader.  Mommy will be there every step of the way as you grow into a mature little boy and I will rally behind you to help you reach your full potential. That is a promise.  There will be no stopping you and you will amaze us all with each milestone you conquer. 

So on this day when you officially turn “1” know that you have taught and showed mommy and daddy so many things and touched many lives with your beauty, intelligence and infectious smile. You have had a remarkable year full of triumph and promise but the best is yet to come. Just you wait and see, just you wait and see.  You were meant to be celebrated today and every day!  

Happy 1^st birthday my angel!

With love,

Your Mommy